How To Avoid Becoming The Side Chick

As it happens every weekend, especially on Friday nights, you can be sure that some girl waited for that ‘certain someone’ to email or text or call about the possibility of having a date or making arrangements only to be disappointed at the last minute. Some of you girls reading this might have been victims of such a situation.

You might have been on tenterhooks throughout the week checking your email or watching your phone, or might have ended up making last minute plans for the much awaited invite and ended up disappointed either because you didn’t hear from them or because when you did, it was at some obscene hour or it was a lame excuse or they behaved like a twit. Mobile dating makes matters even worse. They may tell you they were held up in a serious meeting, yet they were having a nice time with their sweetheart.

When you wait around for someone to ask you out, and you put yourself in such a way that you are easily available should they see fit to take you out and honor you with their presence, you unconsciously communicate that not only do they not have to value you as a person or even value your time, but that you’re an option. You are an option that could do with filling up their life when their first choice is not around.

There are many other ways that can show that you’re fine with being an option. For a start, you may find that no matter how many times they reject the relationship, or they reject you, you’ll always be up for another sequel – hoping that “this time it might work.” But you always end up with disappointment.

Sometimes they will tell you that they don’t want to commit and only want to keep things casual and in your ignorance you agree to play along so that in case they spontaneously combust into being available, you’ll be ready to ‘step in’. You can be 100% sure that they’re sleeping with/dating others and even though it makes you feel like crap; you stick around praying that somehow, someday they will be yours.

Another way of knowing that you’re just an option girl is when you sit at the round table in their harem, and you keep competing for their attention or fawning over them. And after you tell them to take a run and jump because they’re attached and are therefore unavailable, they just take it lightly and tell you that you know where to find them if you change your mind. Sometimes you keep hanging around them demanding that they should show some love towards you and trying to convince them that you’re the best, and they should be with you.

Many people try to use dating apps or online dating apps to help them get the perfect match, but all that is required is for an individual to be smart. Show them that you are not readily available. That you’re not someone they can call up anytime or at the last minute, and you end up honoring their invite. Finally, never allow someone to reject you more than twice, whether it is directly or indirectly.

Abby Cook is the editor-in-chief of LOV’s Blog LOV is a mobile dating app that uses your social activity to determine your personality. She is a writer, elementary school teacher, and a loving wife; and she adores hosting parties and living a meaningful life. She encourages all of her single friends to find their true love as well on LOV for free. Follow on